Another Monday, another round of nonsense from the crew. Here's what happened this week.
🐾 Look What They Did Now
Elvis and Zuley were last seen "playing." What actually happened is unclear, but the basketball has been abandoned, the frog toy has been abandoned, and both parties are now unconscious on the rug. Investigation ongoing. Naps: successful.
🎨 Design Spotlight: Demands Declined
He heard the request. He understood the request. He is not doing the request. This week's spotlight goes to Demands Declined — for every bulldog who's mastered the art of hearing you loud and clear, then choosing otherwise anyway.
💬 Tell Us Something
This week's question: what's the most ridiculous thing your bulldog has guarded like it was Fort Knox? A shoe. A sock. An empty box. We want to hear it. Reply to this email or find us on Instagram — we read every single one.
🏆 Bulldog of the Week: Elvis
Back on duty after last week's inspection. Title: Senior VP of Security Operations. Fully briefed on all threats, real and imagined. Mostly imagined.
This week's patrol picked up right where the last one left off — full perimeter sweeps, including underneath active construction, because you never know what's hiding under a deck frame twice in a row.
Fifteen years on the job. Zero incidents. Morale has never been higher.
— The Crew
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